# $ Recipes Index
Starters
Main Courses
Puddings
Ingredients

#$Starters
Tomato Soup
Melon

#$MainCourses
Fish and Chips
Bangers and Mash
Pie and Peas

#$Puddings
Spotted Dick
Trifle

#$Ingredients
Chips
Currants
Custard
Fish
Glace Cherry
Mash
Melon
Peas
Pie
Sausages
Sponge Cake
Tomato Soup
Trifle

#$Tomato Soup Recipe

Ingredients
1 can of Heinz Tomato Soup
Method
Open tin of soup and pour into a microwave safe soup bowl.
Microwave at full power for 2 1/2 minutes.

#$Melon Recipe

Ingredients
1 melon slice
1 glace cherry
Method
Put cherry on melon slice.

#$Fish and Chips Recipe

Ingredients
£1. 85
Method
Take ingredients to local Fish and Chip shop and say 'Fish and Chips please'.
Accept parcel in exchange for ingredients, take parcel home and empty onto a warm plate.

#$Bangers and Mash Recipe

Ingredients
1 bag microwave sausages
1 bag of 'Smash'
Method
Place sausages on microwave safe dish, cover and microwave according to instructions on packet.
Place contents of packet of 'Smash' in a jug and add boiling water as instructed on the packet. Stir until smooth.

#$Pie and Peas Recipe

Ingredients
1 pie
1 tin mushy peas
Method
Open tin of mushy peas and pour into a microwave safe dish.
Microwave at full power for 2 1/2 minutes.
Place pie on a plate and microwave for 4 minutes.

#$Spotted Dick Recipe

Ingredients
1 tinned sponge pudding
1 handful of currants
1 tin of Custard
Method
Steam pudding according to instructions on tin.
Open tin of custard and pour into a microwave safe dish.
Microwave at full power for 1 1/2 minutes.
Put sponge on a plate and stick raisins into it in a random yet aesthetically pleasing manner.
Pour custard on sponge.

#$Trifle Recipe

Ingredients
1 ready made trifle
Method
Take lid off trifle.

#Glace Cherry
A sticky red thing found on cakes and meringues etc

#Chips
Highly satisfying food, found on sale in many guises. Sometimes referred to a 'Fries' or even 'French Fries'.

#Custard
Essential ingredient for any succesful dinner party. Yellow substance served hot and runny on sponge pudding, but cold and set when used on cold puddings.

#Fish
White flaky substance, invariably in a yellow to brown crisp fatty coating. Not to be confused with the living creature found swimming in the sea.

#Mash
White powdery substance (but perfectly legal) served with all manner of main courses. At one time thought to be made from potatoes.

#Melon
Water suspended in a fleshy tasteless material, found shrink-wrapped on supermarket cold counters.

#Peas
Green mush, resembling the glop in Ghostbusters.

#Pie
Legendary article, believed to originate from the Netherlands.

#Currants
Black shrivelled objects, resembling dead flies. Used in catering to disguise the fact that there are dead flies.

#Sausages
The inedible parts of a pig, mashed up with bread and stuffed in a plastic tube.

#Sponge cake
Something grandma used to make.

#Tomato soup
Red creamy liquid tasting nothing like tomatoes.

#Trifle
Concoction of jelly, custard, stale biscuits and mock cream, which looks wonderful but tastes of cardboard.